Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Well, it has been five years since we switched from being grandparents to being parents again. Our little girl has given us much joy in the midst of the sad circumstances that brought her to us when she was just two months old.

My Quaker friend asked me back then if given this second chance at parenting if I would do anything differently. At that time I was pretty sure that I wouldn't change much of how I did things twenty-five years earlier.... but now I know that in spite of my self confidence I've had to adapt to our little girl's unique needs.

I am also finding ways to enjoy her ages and stages more than I allowed my self to do twenty-five years ago. Now I am not in such a hurry to finish parenting, but rather learning to be in the moment of it. Besides, why would I want to hurry up being in my late 60's?

Now I am trying to figure out how to follow my quest into the un-programmed, silently-waiting style of worship practiced by Friends (Quakers) with our little girl who we suspect is on the Autism Spectrum. That is the subject of an upcoming blog post.

My secret hope is that she grows up to write a children's book titled "I Was Raised By My Hippie Grandparents"... but in reality she will probably write "A Guide To Backyard Entomology".

Here are some links:

National Center on Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren - University of Wisconsin-Madison

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren - usa.gov

Parenting Again - University of Illinois Extension

Peace, Love, and Light!

Kevin (Cloud)

National Adoption Day

Yesterday was National Adoption Day, celebrated every November. This year's focus was on the children in the foster care system and their need for permanent placement.

I found two groups working at the national level to insure that the best interests of adopted children are protected.

National Council For Adoption

North American Council on Adoptable Children

The National Council For Adoption lists their Adoption First Principles on their website. As grandparents who adopted our granddaughter this year, two of those principles deeply touched my heart. They were "Growing Up Adopted Is Healthy And Normal" and "Adoptive Parents Are The Real Parents".

Growing Up Adopted Is Healthy And Normal: Adoption is healthy, satisfying, and good for adopted persons, not an enduring challenge to identity and wholeness. The adopted person may have additional questions and curiosities to sort out, but adoption is not a psychological burden or pathology as some theorists treat it. Adoption is the way one joined one’s family, not a defining characteristic or lifelong process. Persons adopted as infants grow up as healthy and productive as people raised in their biological families. To the extent there can be a greater risk of emotional or behavioral problems for children adopted out of foster care at later ages, the correlation is not the result of being adopted, but rather of difficulties experienced prior to adoption, such as neglect or abuse. The vast majority of foster children make the transition into their adoptive families and grow up very successfully.



Adoptive Parents Are The Real Parents: The 'real' parents of the child who was adopted are the adoptive parents, because they are the ones who are legally and morally responsible for the child; they are the ones who parent. In general, law and society have appropriately treated adoptive parents the same as biological parents. In the best interests of children, we should continue to do so. The interests and well-being of adopted children are thoroughly intertwined with those of the adoptive family.


Being supportive of positive adoption policies at the national level goes beyond helping children in foster care, it should be made a component of all Pro Life campaigns. Making adoption an easier choice for pregnant women and keeping adoption support available for adoptive parents will impact the number of abortions chosen each year.

Peace, Love, and Light through Jesus the Christ!
Kevin (Cloud)

Get The Tent And Pack The Pampers Grandma...

My wife and I joined a new club two weeks ago... we now belong to one of the fastest growing segments of our population - Grandparents raising Grandchildren. In California there are nearly 300,000 grandparents raising grandchildren, more than any other state. Read A Profile Of California Grandparents Raising Grandchildren for some interesting stats and check out Grandparents Raising Grandchildren for links to some great resources.

We don't know how long we will be raising our beautiful granddaughter. We just want to love her and provide the best care possible while her mommy & daddy get their act together. If they don't pull it together right away we could be faced with a permeant placement and adopt her in as few as six months.

This was not what we had planned for our empty nest years, but you know how plans go. We had enjoyed the roomy nest for about three years and raising a second brood wasn't even on our list of things to do. Jamaica, now that was on our list. Travel cross country, sure we could just pick up and go at a moments notice. Save for retirement, well it was somewhere on the list.

I never saw this coming! Sometimes I wish that I had a crystal ball, perhaps we could have taken an early retirement and headed out for the open road. Now the hobby-computer room may have to be redecorated with pink frills and fuzzy animals and vacations may have to be scaled down to trips to the local zoo.

But what if we had runaway from home? I would have missed out on all those toothless grins that my beautiful granddaughter gives me at 4 a.m. - nothing in the world could equal those moments when she looks me in the eyes and gives me a great big smile!

I think that we have a new travel companion. There is a new little face to help fill up our vacation photo albums, a precious little princess to help us explore new wonders, someone to share the Father's Creation with while making smores over a campfire in the redwoods. Get the tent and pack the pampers Grandma - we're going camping!

Peace, Love, and Light through Jesus the Christ!
Kevin (Cloud)